I Did Try...

That night,
The skies were cold and dark,
The air still and damp.

Numb,
Cold,
Quiet.

Totality, I felt then.
The night was numb.

That night I cried,
It was hurting all my life,
never knowing,
When it all began.

It just hurts all the same,
Every day.

Every day, every night,
Those bizarrely same walls,
Those fake people.

Every time I go out,
I look at every face,
Searching in them something.

I pretend to smile,
I pretend to fight,
And to try.
But inside I'm still searching.

I touch my forehead to the window glass,
I take a sigh
And everything blurs out.

But that night I did cry,
That once I did try to get away.

I still am numb,
I still am awake.

I touch my own face,
I try to kiss myself,
Try to tell myself it's ok.

I don't know, what I am,
I can do nothing,
I just lie down,
Numb.

I act, well, pretty well,
I act to live,
And smile,
And to laugh along.

But I'm lonely,
Without refuge.
Maybe that's why I cried.

Yes my Love,
I did cry that night,
Yes, I did try.